Wednesday, October 29, 2014

3am thoughts again.

They tell me to take it one day at a time. So the insignificant days pass me by with a blur and before I know it, it's one month after the other. It scares me. It feel like I'm this morbid girl who's waiting, dreading for that day to come. Even though technically that day has already arrived. The day you leave. Or is it the day you left?








It's 3am and I could barely think. Yet, I do. I think of you. I think of us. I think of that face I love, the face I used to hold in my hands when we go on those car rides to anywhere and everywhere. My favouritest face in the world. I'm quite the grammar nazi. But for you, I'll make an exception.

Some days I wonder, is this all there is? Some days I feel like giving up. Some days I feel like there's nothing much worth living for. Some days I cry. Some days I suck it up. Some days I let it all spill. Some days I pull myself together so I can get through another day. Because I live for the possibility that some day, maybe you and I will be.




Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Wednesday, September 10, 2014


When I first listened to this song properly about two weeks ago, I cried. Then I gave it another listen and another cry moments after.

Tonight, I still cry.

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Stay with me.

I had a conversation with my coach (Pr. Ed) after training nearly a fortnight ago. I don't remember exactly how the conversation went but I'll try.

Pr. Ed: So, what do you want to do?
Me: I don't know. I just know I want to leave Penang.
Pr. Ed: Why do you want to leave Penang?
Me: Because there's nothing for me to stay for anymore?
Pr. Ed: That's not a good enough excuse.
Me: Okay, because I don't know what I want to do therefore I think it'll be good if I get out of my comfort zone and see the world, meet new people, etc.
Pr. Ed: If you don't know what you want to do, then you should stay.
*at that point (and maybe admittedly I still do) I thought it was a weird piece of advice*
Pr. Ed: Many times, people on the move think they're doing something. They trick themselves into thinking that they're doing many things, and because of that they think they're doing something. But they're not. If you don't know what you want to do, you should stay.

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Friday, July 25, 2014

The way I yearn, the way I cry.




And maybe, just maybe... if I let my emotions lie bare I'll seem like less of the monster you see me as.

Saturday, July 19, 2014